I feel like I'm drowning.  Drowning in nostalgia and hopelessness.  I want things things to be better but can't find my way to it.  I keep vacillating between wanting to live a life of purpose, and in believing that it's possible, and that there even is a reason to do so, and feeling like it's all pointless.  I can't help but hear Fiona Apple's words from my adolescence echoing across the time/space continuum- "This world is bullshit."