John Mulaney and Letting Go of Emotional Baggage

My life has been ruined in the best possible way.  I know that doesn't make much sense, but let me explain.  Six months ago I kind of sort of knew who John Mulaney was.  I knew he had been involved with SNL in some capacity, and he played a part in the development of the character Stefon, as played by Bill Hader on the show.  Now, at that point I didn't really care anything about him.  I was even kind of turned off after watching some of the sketches he was in on the episode he hosted back in April. I didn't find them particularly funny and even a little offensive.  For some reason though in the past couple of weeks something has clicked in my head, and now I'm officially obsessed.  You know those kinds of crushes you got on celebrities when you were young?  You know the ones where you thought they were the coolest thing ever, and wanted to be bff's with them, but were sad at the same time because you knew you'd never get to meet them?  That's what I'm going through right now.  Sad? Yes.  Immature? Absolutely.  But obviously because I'm an adult now I am able to distinguish between what's in my head and reality, and because of that I've been trying to reassure myself that it's fine and that I shouldn't feel bad about it.  I hadn't been succeeding at doing that until today.  I was standing in my kitchen when I realized something.  I hadn't been having the same reoccurring thoughts.  I've been through a series of relationships, both platonic and romantic, that have ranged from crappy to traumatizing.  I've also been dealing with feelings of complete inadequacy for years now.  Without me even realizing it those thoughts have been slowly dissipating, almost like the sun cutting through a thick fog.  There is a saying I've been seeing recently that goes, so and so takes up so much space in your head they could be charging you rent.  Well, that's exactly what's happened.  John Mulaney has been taking up space in my head that had been previously occupied by all of these intrusive thoughts.  He's also helped me realize a couple of things in the process.  One, is that it is okay to be different.  You don't have to fit the mold people have made for what they think you should be.  It's okay not to fit gender norms, it's okay to be awkward, and it's okay to have anxiety.  Those things don't have to keep you from succeeding, and they don't mean you aren't worthy.  He's also helped me realize that not all men are bad.  They may be few and far between sometimes, but still they aren't all bad. There are men out there who are considerate, honest, and loyal.  Maybe one day I'll find myself my own John Mulaney, maybe I won't.  If I don't, that's okay.  But if I do, I'll be sure to never take him for granted.  Thanks, John.